Drinking a poinsettia before we hit the buffet as a family (we celebrate holidays as AMERICANS, goddammit— Americans that don’t have to clean up after ourselves). Cheers to all of you Christmas people & all the rest of you godless heathens. May your drinks never be empty, especially if your family is annoying.
One quart cream, one quart milk, one dozen tablespoons sugar, one pint brandy, 1/2 pint rye whiskey, 1/2 pint Jamaica rum, 1/4 pint sherry—mix liquor first, then separate yolks and whites of eggs, add sugar to beaten yolks, mix well. Add milk and cream, slowly beating. Beat whites of eggs until stiff and fold slowly into mixture. Let set in cool place for several days. Taste frequently.
Modern Christmas Carol of the Day: The all-seeing all-knowing Tim Minchin was set to debut his latest controversy-baiting Christmas song on tomorrow night’s episode of The Jonathan Ross Show.
But, at the last minute, ITV’s director of television Peter Fincham ordered “Woody Allen Jesus” cut.
“He did this,” Minchin wrote on his blog, “because he’s scared of the ranty, sh*t-stirring, right-wing press, and of the small minority of Brits who believe they have a right to go through life protected from anything that challenges them in any way.”
On the one hand, because “it’s 2011,” Minchin says he’s “really f*cking disappointed.” But on the other, because it’s 2011, he could take the footage of the song and upload it to YouTube so people who wanted to hear the song could.
I now have the perfect plan for a future Christmas: I’ll learn to play piano, then wait til all of my conservative relatives are drunk and I will sing and play my heart out while wearing a fake beard and no shoes.